Copy Pasta thread

when I was 16 or so I was a real big anti SJW shithead and as a result of that I had a falling out with someone who I previously considered a dear friend, it was entirely my fault and pretty recently I decided to look them up and maybe apologize and see how they?re doing? apparently they?re drawing Malcolm in the Middle incest now and sometimes god burns bridges for your own good

RACHEL TIPPED 20 CORAL FOR THIS POST

☑ rekt 
☐ not rekt

The Latin word for raisin is ?uva passa? which literally means ?a grape that has suffered,? and tell me that isn?t the best shit ever

RACHEL TIPPED 20 CORAL FOR THIS POST

Kids are like farts.
I only like mine; others are disgusting.

RACHEL TIPPED 69 CORAL FOR THIS POST

So much of what women do is "unnoticeable," until they stop doing it. Then it's very clear.

I saw someone fly backwards off a treadmill today and I was laughing so hard I fell off the crosstrainer which made the girl next to me laugh so hard that she slipped off hers and it was 7:30 in the morning and there were just 3 of us sitting on the floor of the gym crying with laughter and in varying degrees of pain

My passions are shopping, wine and being gorgeous 👠👸. If you're not 6'5 dont talk to me. I won't message you first. Not looking for hookups. No facial hair. Idk why my profile says 21 im 73. Don't ask me on a date if you're broke 💵💰. If you can't handle me at my worst you dont deserve me at my best. 😤🖑 Sushi and pumpkin spiced lattes ❤. No butt stuff on the first date. It's hard being a single mom. Or so i'm told, I dont have kids.

I was at Adeevka where the Ukrainians are trying to take a strategically-located overpass from the Separs (I was there as a peaceful tourist who never even touched a firearm, of course) and the positions there are about 400 or so meters away from each other, so if you scream loud enough the fucks on the other side can actually hear you.

Up to this point, I?d observed a guy dropping his phone like it was going to bite him when I told him the Bruno Mars song he was playing was gay, and could reliably make people leave the room by asking them ?would you rather sit on a chocolate cake and suck a dick, or eat a chocolate cake while getting fucked in the ass?, so it?s at this point in the trenches that a flash of inspiration hits me.

In my best Russian (which was utterly broken but ?proper? Russian grammar is barbaric caveman-speak anyway) I scream out ?next guy that shoots is gay?. And I swear to whatever god exists that two solid minutes of silence followed. It was some guns-fall-silent Christmas miracle shit

*looks down, says in a quiet voice* Hey um, anyone else think that we, the straight people, are getting smaller and smaller in numbers? I mean? I?m not against any other sexuality but?I just feel like we are getting attacked right now?what I mean is, some homphobes just don?t like it, and gay people can?t seem to respect that. We respect u, now it?s ur turn to rescpect us. *runs away and hides because the online world is a scary place anyway*

[kicks open a saloon door, everyone turns to see a wanted bandit with bloodsoaked cowboy boots and chaps, I spit perfectly into a spittoon, adjust my belt and tip my hat and say loudly for the whole bar to hear] alright, which one of you city slickers is gay enough to date me

My name is mike I was a CIA prototype. Titled C 9"Codename: stunner The mission was to genetically create an intellectually and physically superior male prototype Unfortunately the program became too successful and was forced to terminate after I registered unusually high levels of sexiness and became self aware. Now this weapon of mass stimulation has been unleashed on the general female population. You have been warned.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I?ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I?ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I?m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You?re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that?s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ?clever? comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn?t, you didn?t, and now you?re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You?re fucking dead, kiddo.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer?s head. There?s also Rick?s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they?re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn?t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick?s existential catchphrase ?Wubba Lubba Dub Dub,? which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev?s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I?m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon?s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pitythem. 😂

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It?s for the ladies? eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they?re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

Many of you, the wetfish community, are /b/tards. You like acting dumb on the internet and that's ok.

The imageboard script is almost complete! You can currently upload images and talk about them, however the thumbbails do not show up and you can not reply. But that's not much of a problem, hell, I've even located the last remaining problem and know exactly how to fix it. This problem will probably take less than an hour to fix, and once I have finished it there isn't much left. Sure, I still have to update the reply script but that'll be easy, all I need to do for that is copy, paste, and edit a few lines from the main source, no big deal.

I am sure by now you're thinking, "why are you writing this if it will only take an hour?" and my responce to that is, "sorry, I have to go to school. :(".

With that said, you should expect the imageboard to be completed tonight (for real this time), ready for you, all of you, to post images, memes, and laugh together.

I would say there have been several (perhaps one, perhaps dozens, maybe even hundreds?) of advanced civilizations before our current one. I would say humans have evolved into their current biological form much faster than is currently believed and have been subject to a rising and falling of civilizations for perhaps millions of years.

Of course I cannot know for sure, this is simply my theory from reading books and watching documentaries that talk about alternative historic perspectives and various archeological discoveries (groundbreaking discoveries) that have been completelly left out and ignored by modern historians.

A theory I've read in a book recently regarding objects like these (advanced mathematics and physics engraved in rocks) states that these were ways of our ancient advanced ancestors of conveying their scientific breakthroughs to us. Supporting this theory - there have been tablets found in South/Central America that have engraved within them pictures of human like beings doing things that seem similar to surgery and even attempt to describe the biology of long extinct species, such as dinosaurs (which could even mean an advanced human civilization coexisted with dinosaurs once).

Perhaps even the Moon itself, a most unnatural satellite to our planet has been built by past human civilizations.