Wetfish Online

Discussion Forums => Shitpost Central => Topic started by: rachel on July 06, 2018, 01:52:31 pm

Title: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on July 06, 2018, 01:52:31 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DhcO3bHUwAAuAmS.jpg:large)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on May 20, 2020, 08:20:24 pm
(https://66.media.tumblr.com/b323dec4fa52ab4f337f95d48be25590/b5979738e4b09fec-1e/s1280x1920/e825ba3360e2ca29ca2453f7c37e8b9a28f7e140.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on May 20, 2020, 08:21:34 pm
(https://66.media.tumblr.com/5f88d85f25d744ebb770a0f0bed7467c/b5979738e4b09fec-46/s1280x1920/e989b14e18be65c8e37f9986d5c6b1d24b4b295e.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on May 23, 2020, 03:17:11 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on May 23, 2020, 03:19:05 pm
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lmao
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on May 23, 2020, 03:19:14 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on May 24, 2020, 01:09:17 am
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omg absolutely overhwlmed with memes

a meme avalanche
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on May 24, 2020, 08:00:01 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/nZ6G7t1.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on June 06, 2020, 11:34:57 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/c310371f-86ce-a098-d423-1839fc0ab4be.png)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on June 06, 2020, 11:35:46 am
discord locked down its shit so now i can't just hotlink memes off servers i have to upload them elsewehre

this is really annoying bc i was using my private server as a meme repository. they're still there but now my old posts stopped working.

i am sorry.
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on June 06, 2020, 11:40:34 am
discord locked down its shit so now i can't just hotlink memes off servers i have to upload them elsewehre

this is really annoying bc i was using my private server as a meme repository. they're still there but now my old posts stopped working.

i am sorry.

dang that sucks I know a lot of people who have been hotlinking from discord for a long time
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on June 06, 2020, 11:41:22 am
discord locked down its shit so now i can't just hotlink memes off servers i have to upload them elsewehre

this is really annoying bc i was using my private server as a meme repository. they're still there but now my old posts stopped working.

i am sorry.

wait are you sure they don't work??? I am still able to see all the pics you posted in this thread
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on June 07, 2020, 06:03:39 pm
discord locked down its shit so now i can't just hotlink memes off servers i have to upload them elsewehre

this is really annoying bc i was using my private server as a meme repository. they're still there but now my old posts stopped working.

i am sorry.

wait are you sure they don't work??? I am still able to see all the pics you posted in this thread

oh, that's good! I can't see them. Maybe a script blocker got em somehow, I have everything green but.. stuff breaks sometimes.
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on June 27, 2020, 05:54:49 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on July 01, 2020, 05:01:10 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on July 01, 2020, 05:03:32 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on July 05, 2020, 06:28:56 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on July 05, 2020, 04:54:08 pm
I invented a new word: "Plagiarism."
Title: mom joke
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on July 06, 2020, 02:12:32 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on July 06, 2020, 08:11:26 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on July 25, 2020, 11:04:19 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on July 26, 2020, 02:05:33 pm
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dang simba your dad's a joke...
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on July 27, 2020, 06:36:09 am
Didja hear about the thieves that made off with an entire shipment of Viagra?
The police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on August 14, 2020, 08:04:50 am
(https://i.imgur.com/Oty6JYZ.png)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on August 23, 2020, 08:18:42 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on August 24, 2020, 02:40:52 pm
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Title: this is my favorite dessert
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on August 26, 2020, 04:39:27 pm
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its pie
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on August 28, 2020, 02:44:21 pm
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lmao I like this one
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Anomaly on September 02, 2020, 03:56:46 pm
(https://i.redd.it/fmyi2d5a47k51.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on November 01, 2020, 12:42:43 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on November 20, 2020, 03:26:53 pm
(https://i.redd.it/14xgtjjrrd061.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on December 01, 2020, 07:18:24 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/b627cfa8-ebcb-5d2f-6c64-65abae13f6dc.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Ozmiander on December 31, 2020, 07:38:37 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/47656312-dd4d-acaf-af13-5ad892fb1945.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on January 19, 2021, 03:27:02 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/33564878-941d-e2f5-7b1c-623d36fdabab.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on January 28, 2021, 08:48:07 pm
* So it turns out that Einstein was a real person.  I always thought he was a "theoretical" physicist.

* Did I already tell you my chiropractor joke?  I don't remember.  It would have been about a week back...
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: quicksand on February 02, 2021, 07:59:12 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on February 02, 2021, 10:30:23 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on February 20, 2021, 01:07:32 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on February 20, 2021, 06:27:35 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EueawrvUUAUju52.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on February 21, 2021, 04:09:30 pm
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Title: came in like a shrekking ball
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on February 23, 2021, 05:09:00 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on February 28, 2021, 02:17:07 pm
My mom hired a handyman and gave him a list. When she got back home, only #1,3 & 5 were completed. Turned out he only does odd jobs.
His assistant is his teenaged daughter. She can't even...
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on March 04, 2021, 03:42:31 pm
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off.
My buddy tried to comfort me, says my days were numbered there anyways.
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on March 10, 2021, 06:42:17 pm
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/423936161724104706/819217234361581589/unknown.png)
Title: nintendo oui
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on March 29, 2021, 06:38:12 am
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thank you quicksand
Title: when i was a child i was raped by a mime
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on March 31, 2021, 04:04:44 pm
he did unspeakable things to me
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on April 02, 2021, 08:16:21 am
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1L8JE.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on April 06, 2021, 09:07:25 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/2c16e20e-dde0-dd4d-d55a-fab1b168aea8.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on May 08, 2021, 06:53:31 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/89e51272-36ae-3a6c-1186-103036b7d0d3.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on May 09, 2021, 08:14:12 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/89e51272-36ae-3a6c-1186-103036b7d0d3.jpeg)

lmao I saw that on the wiki uploader and I knew it had to be from this thread XDDD
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on June 13, 2021, 05:55:21 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on June 13, 2021, 06:51:24 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on June 20, 2021, 01:26:29 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/6389d67d-f730-8925-a777-d549b2a66b9d.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on June 30, 2021, 03:57:26 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on July 15, 2021, 04:55:28 am
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/630599999629295626/865177887463702528/image0.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on July 18, 2021, 01:25:18 pm
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/585544342635151414/866358519506534400/-5163799885781248308_120.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on July 18, 2021, 01:26:05 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on August 08, 2021, 08:17:27 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on August 13, 2021, 05:24:20 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on September 16, 2021, 02:41:45 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on September 17, 2021, 03:47:39 pm
i need a person without autism for this new job, it needs an untrainedeye

..autism = trains
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on September 17, 2021, 06:25:31 pm
i need a person without autism for this new job, it needs an untrainedeye

..autism = trains

thanks for explaining it at the end

really ties it all together
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on September 18, 2021, 12:15:05 pm
On most mornings i wake up and have a nice big fart. But when the weekend starts, I shit my pants, because its shaturday
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on September 18, 2021, 12:27:52 pm
you guys remember the heavens gate cult? tragic, they all killed themselves when hailies coment flew by.. but i heard there's a new one, started by the goatse guy its called Heavens Gape
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on September 22, 2021, 09:26:23 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on September 24, 2021, 04:40:22 pm
put a couple witches into my microwave, upgraded it to a microwave coven
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on November 15, 2021, 10:49:30 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/db2ee96c-ee09-8f73-96af-aa4eff571a07.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on November 16, 2021, 06:06:02 pm
i like trivial pursuit, but how about trivial pursoup and its just lots of tiny soups i like soup
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on January 05, 2022, 04:45:40 pm
stolen from abzz on irc

(https://matrix.wetfish.chat/_matrix/media/v1/download/wetfish.chat/HVbqFWGJaOLuLVdSNVhAEdMW)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on January 05, 2022, 06:03:31 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on January 05, 2022, 06:28:05 pm
What's the difference other than skin colour?
This "spot-the-difference" puzzle isn't very good.
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on January 05, 2022, 08:18:21 pm
What's the difference other than skin colour?
  • pistols / rifles
  • smiling
  • hats
  • christmas tree
This "spot-the-difference" puzzle isn't very good.

theres no dad
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on January 06, 2022, 05:59:33 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on January 08, 2022, 02:54:10 pm
https://SORRY DISCORD IS NOT SUPPORTED DUE TO LINK ROT/attachments/142506845263757312/929480820685697104/IMG_3296.mp4
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Anomaly on January 11, 2022, 02:00:00 pm
a classic

(https://i.redd.it/g3v9el3bdwj71.jpg)
Title: jarvista
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on January 12, 2022, 08:09:23 pm
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jarvista
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on January 16, 2022, 07:19:41 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on January 19, 2022, 06:13:41 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on January 30, 2022, 09:07:56 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on March 08, 2022, 02:36:21 pm
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1N3DZ)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on March 24, 2022, 11:40:36 am
> Did you know the Mortal Kombat soundtrack was based on Nordic gospel?  If you listen, you can hear the Finnish hymn...

> No one wants to listen to my old Whitesnake album with me ... oh well, Here I go again on my own...
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on March 26, 2022, 08:44:04 am
I came across a rather unusual sight the other day. Three wealthy landowners were meeting on elaborately decorated animal skins, two seemed to be on tanned cattle skins and the third was on a hippopotamus. The estates of the first two were considerable, but the third one was the size of the first two combined.

Yes, the squire on the hippopotamus was equal to the sum of the squires on the two other hides.
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on April 02, 2022, 09:49:09 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on April 06, 2022, 01:15:22 pm
A man goes to his doctor and says "Doc every time I fart it sounds like the word Honda." the doctor looked him over and sent him to a specialist who also was clueless. So a couple months later the man is at his dentist and he asks if the dentist knows any good doctors and about his odd flatulence.

The Dentist chuckled and said, "Well thank you for telling me, I'll make sure and find your abscessed tooth and remove it." The guy replies "OH how do you know I have an abscess?" The dentist replies "Everyone knows that abscess makes the fart go Honda!"
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on April 17, 2022, 11:59:07 am
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on April 30, 2022, 06:33:38 pm
You search and search for that nostalgic early 90s reference and then finally: whoomp there it is.

The coroner confirmed that the man who fell from the 15th floor of the nightclub was not a bouncer.
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on June 13, 2022, 01:45:21 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/15d37e3f-123a-5089-bf7e-3c2f891a0cda.png)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on July 25, 2022, 10:14:15 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/c5c6ac05-e050-992b-e1a5-6d166f64ea1e.png)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on September 07, 2022, 11:15:57 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/144be6f0-e4d5-9012-7024-4fb57a3bc6e0.png)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on September 19, 2022, 05:25:32 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/18ef5a4a-d88a-8097-442c-24af2812a012.png)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on September 29, 2022, 08:00:38 pm
I had never been to a brothel before, so the first thing I did was talk to several prostitutes to compare prices. One was much cheaper than the rest, and I asked her why. "I'm giving a discount right now because I'm basically relearning to have sex. I was assigned male at birth and just completed reassignment surgery. I'm looking for feedback on my performance." I decided to give her a chance. I paid her, and we had amazing sex. She asked me to fill out a questionnaire before I left. I picked one up from the table and read the first question: "Were you satisfied with the trans action?"
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on September 30, 2022, 11:24:24 am
I had never been to a brothel before, so the first thing I did was talk to several prostitutes to compare prices. One was much cheaper than the rest, and I asked her why. "I'm giving a discount right now because I'm basically relearning to have sex. I was assigned male at birth and just completed reassignment surgery. I'm looking for feedback on my performance." I decided to give her a chance. I paid her, and we had amazing sex. She asked me to fill out a questionnaire before I left. I picked one up from the table and read the first question: "Were you satisfied with the trans action?"

this punchline is a real groaner
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on November 20, 2022, 07:29:56 pm
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1O8GL.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on November 29, 2022, 05:22:38 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/807a5de3-91f8-da95-397f-9bd48a3bf475.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on December 11, 2022, 04:45:15 am
A doctor and a deaf man loved the same girl.  Every day the doctor would give the woman a rose, and everyday the deaf man would give the woman an apple. The woman got confused and one day asked the deaf man “Of course I understand why the doctor gives me a rose, but why do you give me an apple?”

The deaf man replied “What?”
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on December 23, 2022, 08:07:11 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/2dc67f64-75e9-c5f2-63ba-571119c9cb28.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on January 01, 2023, 06:27:14 am
on New Year's Eve, we sing...
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1OF81)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on January 01, 2023, 10:27:51 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on January 09, 2023, 07:52:47 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on January 21, 2023, 11:26:21 am
So last night I went out for a burger. There was a woman doing maintenance toward the back of the restaurant. As I made my way past her to the restroom, she asked me if I wanted to go out back and smoke some weed with her…
I said "no thanks, I'm not into high maintenance women."
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on February 10, 2023, 05:55:40 am

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer.

The third orders a quarter of a beer....

"I don't serve quarter pints" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #3

"A half pint is fine. No quarters" The bartender remarks.

"Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along"

"I've got to clean all these glasses, remember"

"But that's not a problem" mathematician #2 chimes in "at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function-"

"I know how limits work" interjects the bartender

"Oh, alright then. I didn't want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics"

"Are you kidding me?" The bartender replies, "they are tricky sure, but hardly advanced! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics?"

"HE'S ON TO US" mathematician #1 screeches

Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade.

The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. "FOOLS" it booms in unison, "I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA"

The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. "But wait" he inturrupts, thinking fast, "if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers!"

The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. "My God, you're right. We didn't think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS!" and with that, they vanish.

A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. "How did you know that that would work?"

"It's simple really" the bartender says. "I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative."
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on February 22, 2023, 03:52:35 pm
I told my son I now identify as invisible -- although I was born visible, I am now a trans-parent.  My pronouns are who/where.
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on March 17, 2023, 01:45:07 pm
I asked for the cube root, not a ___ ____
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/5b944756-808c-2c65-c6ff-022d7bb82a98.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on April 25, 2023, 09:53:57 pm
(https://matrix.wetfish.chat/_matrix/media/v3/download/wetfish.chat/MqXAXbHPEiRYzgbAbOCLioQf/image.png)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on April 30, 2023, 06:22:45 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/dsY1BJd.png)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on April 30, 2023, 06:23:31 pm
https://SORRY DISCORD IS NOT SUPPORTED DUE TO LINK ROT/attachments/765755259749662720/1101496412363046992/RDT_20230424_091732.mov
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on April 30, 2023, 07:33:05 pm
https://SORRY DISCORD IS NOT SUPPORTED DUE TO LINK ROT/attachments/533154177090846720/1102422349275463782/bear_jokes.mp4
Title: the straight pills
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on May 01, 2023, 05:00:43 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on May 02, 2023, 03:49:18 pm
if u say something so insulting that it kills someone, it means they died of dissentary
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on May 02, 2023, 03:52:03 pm
remember when jerry seinfeld made a movie about a bee fuckin a human woman.. i can't stand this.. beestiality

Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on May 21, 2023, 12:46:59 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on June 02, 2023, 07:02:08 pm
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/694390578078548028/1111545151907700746/IMG_3235.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on June 03, 2023, 11:52:58 pm
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/694390578078548028/1111545151907700746/IMG_3235.jpg)

I don't get it
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on June 04, 2023, 10:34:52 am
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/694390578078548028/1111545151907700746/IMG_3235.jpg)

I don't get it

the face of the guy on the left is rene descartes who most famously said "i think therefore i am" and this has been crudely edited to him saying I THINK and other people saying NICE! GOOD JOB! and the last one says WE'RE which would just mean WE ARE (as in we are all thinking therefore we all exist)

its excessively dumb

the #CokeEsports tag is a nice little hilarious bon mot too
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on June 26, 2023, 07:00:27 pm
(https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/110/613/649/164/226/459/original/cfda7f8ec68466be.jpg)
Title: aphex twink with his seminal album, selected ambient wanks
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on June 27, 2023, 04:52:24 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on June 28, 2023, 08:22:44 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net//upload/869d939c-1429-676b-b440-ed809cf47b35.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on July 25, 2023, 02:26:35 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net//upload/cbe93652-7c05-2004-84c4-5075004bfe91.png)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on July 30, 2023, 05:25:19 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on July 30, 2023, 05:53:35 am
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/279153810528665600/1134713672292388894/F2JyTFRWAAM-A3L.png)
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on August 14, 2023, 10:15:04 am
 Getting mythology wrong is my Hercules ankle.

 I have a suntanning addiction, so only go on holiday in winter. I went cold Turkey last year.

 Last year, I had a great joke about inflation, but it’s hardly worth it now.
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on August 14, 2023, 02:54:15 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net//upload/31ac18fc-d8ac-e57d-ffbc-865fbdc9cb16.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on August 25, 2023, 06:26:35 pm
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on September 04, 2023, 10:31:10 am
(https://wiki.wetfish.net//upload/10537f69-5d13-c202-d032-e016a2636a72.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on September 11, 2023, 09:34:03 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net//upload/0df0b778-b41d-c633-d1ca-b8a51eba2b39.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on September 12, 2023, 08:06:08 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net//upload/0df0b778-b41d-c633-d1ca-b8a51eba2b39.jpeg)

this is clearly an anime girl joke not a dad joke
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on September 14, 2023, 09:46:06 am
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Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on September 14, 2023, 09:49:07 pm
(https://matrix.wetfish.chat/_matrix/media/v3/download/wetfish.chat/PMmbqzDaTphhqfueTsFkzqsq/you%20had%20your%20chance.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on September 15, 2023, 08:36:45 am
If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

What disease did cured ham have?

Why do we say "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every ninety minutes?

Why do alarm clocks make noise when we say they go off?

Shouldn't it be "SOME things in moderation" instead of "All things..." ?

Why do we yell "heads up!" when we want people to duck?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell "mnemonic" ?

We call it quicksand but it sucks you down so slowly...

Why are all the outdoors things looked after by the Department Of The Interior ?

We call them marbles but they're made out of glass.

When French people are about to swear, do they first say "parodonez-moi mon Anglais" ?

What does a bald man have as their hair colour on a driver's license?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

You carry suits in a garment case; you carry garments in a suitcase.

When two aeroplanes almost collide and miss each other, we call it a "near miss" not "nearly a hit".

How can something be both "new" and "improved" ?

How did the "Keep Off The Grass" sign get on the grass?
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on October 03, 2023, 01:37:47 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net//upload/87240386-101e-a51c-ada7-a928e576c2a7.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on October 07, 2023, 01:36:06 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net//upload/2deb132e-00ee-ea58-158a-709ab1465bea.png)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on October 10, 2023, 02:38:42 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net//upload/ebac2136-389d-2b0b-638b-8fa38c490017.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on October 24, 2023, 02:15:32 pm
(https://64.media.tumblr.com/282fcd25ed25caeedc25ae7fe864b057/bd1c41d265b50bcf-bd/s1280x1920/532f492ced22277de6eb4d08f712c8ffaeb4dfc3.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on October 29, 2023, 07:25:40 pm
(https://matrix.wetfish.chat/_matrix/media/v3/download/wetfish.chat/qDfZnoEECNFQZjGuUNMffqtK/1000003711.png)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on November 01, 2023, 06:45:23 am
Doctor: I can knock out the patient using gas, or using a boat paddle; it’s an ether / oar situation.
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on November 27, 2023, 10:11:14 pm
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1PL3R.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on December 13, 2023, 07:09:02 am
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1PMO0.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on December 15, 2023, 02:27:18 pm
ME, TRYING TO CREATE A PASSWORD: <beefstew>
COMPUTER: password not stroganoff
ME, TYPING IN A NEW PASSWORD: <chicken>
COMPUTER: password must contain capital
ME: <chickenkiev>
ME, TRYING YET ANOTHER PASSWORD: <thirdlargestfrenchcityonthemediterraneancoast>
COMPUTER: password is toulon
ME, GIVING UP: <incorrecttryagain>
COMPUTER: password is incorrect; try again
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on February 15, 2024, 02:32:49 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net//upload/bd4de100-d3d9-4e53-8ec5-555d39f94e20.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on March 17, 2024, 06:03:30 am
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1PW7F.jpg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on April 01, 2024, 04:12:34 pm
(https://cdn.mastdn.ca/media_attachments/files/112/193/680/972/696/401/original/bcf3e6cf2b20c73d.webp)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: rachel on April 02, 2024, 01:15:07 am
(https://cdn.mastdn.ca/media_attachments/files/112/193/680/972/696/401/original/bcf3e6cf2b20c73d.webp)

I don't get i-- oh... haiku... oh
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: Mozai on April 02, 2024, 03:37:09 pm
(https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/406d7e1b-861a-74bf-72ec-daf5a87c1355.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dad jokes
Post by: ThePedalMan998 on April 27, 2024, 09:32:42 pm
My driving has not resulted in any kind of speeding ticket, pullover, or collision so far.

Thus, I would say my driving is completely wreck-less.