fun story when i was in programming school there was a kid who was smart, funny, charming, yet somehow a worse programmer than me. to solve a maze instead of using loops, which confused him, he nested several thousand if statements. it was amazing, and even solved roughly 80% of the time. i wonder where he is now.
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on January 20, 2018, 05:41:58 am
fun story when i was in programming school there was a kid who was smart, funny, charming, yet somehow a worse programmer than me. to solve a maze instead of using loops, which confused him, he nested several thousand if statements. it was amazing, and even solved roughly 80% of the time. i wonder where he is now.
wtfffffffffffffffffffffffff
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on January 20, 2018, 09:53:50 am
(https://i.redd.it/txus704m34b01.jpg)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on February 01, 2018, 05:34:22 pm
I prefer frontend to backend tbh
Well, unless you're talking about development ( ͡? ͜ʖ ͡?)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on February 02, 2018, 09:04:10 pm
(https://i.redd.it/sj9x6fvb5vd01.jpg)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on February 08, 2018, 08:43:46 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/5WuCuEc.jpg)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: Kitlero on February 09, 2018, 02:21:03 pm
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on April 26, 2018, 05:59:39 am
(http://mozai.com/temp/image/first_project.png)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on May 01, 2018, 11:19:59 am
(https://i.imgur.com/Jn5Lvan.jpg)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on May 08, 2018, 10:28:18 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/d5iUpYL.jpg)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on May 11, 2018, 08:33:59 am
Quote
A programmer walks into a bar and orders 1.000000119 root beers. The bartender says, "I'm gonna have to charge you extra; that's a root beer float". And the programmer says, "Well in that case make it a double".
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on May 13, 2018, 12:31:44 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/iB1Q47V.png)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on May 16, 2018, 10:11:14 am
I once had a programming interview where the interviewee said that Java arrays start at 1. I nearly lost my vision from my eyes popping out of my skull. He said I shouldn't be a programmer unless I got a masters in Computer Science :P
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on May 30, 2018, 10:55:56 pm
So one of the religious doctrines that Islam always held against Catholicism/Christianity was the trinity. Maybe the Pope will learn some Javascript and put 1300 hundred years of religious bitching to rest.
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: Diabolizer on October 02, 2019, 09:55:06 pm
(https://i.redd.it/qtjy4x1z96q31.jpg)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on October 09, 2019, 01:11:30 pm
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: He didn't get arrays
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on December 10, 2019, 04:41:35 pm
SORRY DISCORD IS NOT SUPPORTED DUE TO LINK ROT/attachments/309047256215060481/654020661064368168/lol.jpg[/img]
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on December 10, 2019, 10:04:25 pm
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on May 22, 2020, 02:10:57 pm
not actually a meme but a fun and informative presentation by Ryan Dahl about the design flaws he introduced into node.js
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: here cums the fuck truck on May 23, 2020, 03:20:14 pm
SORRY DISCORD IS NOT SUPPORTED DUE TO LINK ROT/attachments/701540805214732306/712075801012600852/96781428_1548237978678710_2639236027339767808_n.png[/img]
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on May 24, 2020, 01:07:46 am
SORRY DISCORD IS NOT SUPPORTED DUE TO LINK ROT/attachments/701540805214732306/712075801012600852/96781428_1548237978678710_2639236027339767808_n.png[/img]
oh no
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on May 27, 2020, 03:19:19 pm
SORRY DISCORD IS NOT SUPPORTED DUE TO LINK ROT/attachments/531640671149359108/715287939843883039/Rwuoj.png[/img]
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on May 29, 2020, 02:29:16 pm
Wow i thought i was being trolled and it was just going to be 10 hour loop of on for 8 seconds, off for 2 seconds. Just put a button on it, that looks miserable to try and reset.
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on August 24, 2020, 08:19:24 am
(https://i.redd.it/idilsjwogxi51.jpg)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: Diabolizer on August 25, 2020, 11:10:20 am
Wait, what happened [to Firefox on Android]? Should I not upgrade???
Quote
The biggest criticisms of the new browser are performance related, with many reviewers complaining that Firefox is now slow and crash-prone. ... having to click multiple times to complete a download ... Most of add-ons don't work, elements on sites are rendered in wrong places ... The removal of the back button is a common complaint ... Bookmarks are now shunted into the settings menu, with Mozilla introducing a new bookmarks-like feature called Collections ... The old Firefox browser for Android had a library of thousands of extensions, but the new browser offers only nine ...
Wait, what happened [to Firefox on Android]? Should I not upgrade???
Quote
The biggest criticisms of the new browser are performance related, with many reviewers complaining that Firefox is now slow and crash-prone. ... having to click multiple times to complete a download ... Most of add-ons don't work, elements on sites are rendered in wrong places ... The removal of the back button is a common complaint ... Bookmarks are now shunted into the settings menu, with Mozilla introducing a new bookmarks-like feature called Collections ... The old Firefox browser for Android had a library of thousands of extensions, but the new browser offers only nine ...
Wait, what happened [to Firefox on Android]? Should I not upgrade???
Quote
The biggest criticisms of the new browser are performance related, with many reviewers complaining that Firefox is now slow and crash-prone. ... having to click multiple times to complete a download ... Most of add-ons don't work, elements on sites are rendered in wrong places ... The removal of the back button is a common complaint ... Bookmarks are now shunted into the settings menu, with Mozilla introducing a new bookmarks-like feature called Collections ... The old Firefox browser for Android had a library of thousands of extensions, but the new browser offers only nine ...
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: Mozai on October 12, 2020, 09:33:10 am
How programmers usually comment their code. (https://wiki.wetfish.net/upload/3effd0b4-f9c6-903a-8fac-0236fd6677d4.png)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: Mozai on October 25, 2020, 07:09:36 am
"the only intuitive user interface is a nipple" said someone who's never seen a baby cry because they are having trouble suckling. (https://i.redd.it/5iq78p24b7v51.png)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on October 31, 2020, 07:13:20 pm
"the only intuitive user interface is a nipple" said someone who's never seen a baby cry because they are having trouble suckling. (https://i.redd.it/5iq78p24b7v51.png)
gotta think like a user
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: Mozai on November 01, 2020, 07:15:12 pm
Code is either Lisp, or Algol-60, and Algol begat Smalltalk (object-oriented stuff). "innovative" features in well-funded programming languages, like closures or generator expressions are just features that Lisp had since 1960 and some kid finally read a history book instead of StackExchange or "Learn ${X} in 30 Days" to get a high-paying job.
PHP looks like Javascript because they're both later versions of Algol-60.
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: Mozai on October 13, 2023, 11:32:41 am
It's Agile methods, man -- ship the minimum viable product, then iterate. (https://wiki.wetfish.net//upload/a7489f03-5e5e-4c03-2004-b21d686deaa4.jpeg)
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: Mozai on October 24, 2023, 08:36:11 am
A fellow had just been hired as the new sysadmin of a large high tech corporation. The sysadmin who was leaving met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, there a major DoS attack against the infrusture and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."
The sysadmin went to his superiors and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous admin because of bad security. Satisfied with his comments, management responded positively, he sorted it all out, got the servers running again and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a major outage, combined with serious hacking problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the sysadmin quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Blame the cloud hosts." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive months of no downtime, the servers once again acted up. The admin went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.
The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on November 24, 2023, 09:21:55 pm
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: Mozai on January 10, 2024, 06:29:02 pm
Interviewer: So, you're a carpenter, are you? Carpenter: That's right, that's what I do. Interviewer: How long have you been doing it? Carpenter: Ten years. Interviewer: Great, that's good. Now, I have a few technical questions to ask you to see if you're a fit for our team. OK? Carpenter: Sure, that'd be fine. Interviewer: First of all, we're working in a subdivision building a lot of brown houses. Have you built a lot of brown houses before? Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I build houses, and people pretty much paint them the way they want. Interviewer: Yes, I understand that, but can you give me an idea of how much experience you have with brown? Roughly. Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know. Once they're built I don't care what color they get painted. Maybe six months? Interviewer: Six months? Well, we were looking for someone with a lot more brown experience, but let me ask you some more questions. Carpenter: Well, OK, but paint is paint, you know. Interviewer: Yes, well. What about walnut? Carpenter: What about it? Interviewer: Have you worked much with walnut? Carpenter: Sure, walnut, pine, oak, mahogany -- you name it. Interviewer: But how many years of walnut do you have? Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know -- was I supposed to be counting the walnut? Interviewer: Well, estimate for me. Carpenter: OK, I'd say I have a year and a half of walnut. Interviewer: Would you say you're an entry level walnut guy or a walnut guru? Carpenter: A walnut guru? What's a walnut guru? Sure, I've used walnut. Interviewer: But you're not a walnut guru? Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I've worked with all kinds of wood, you know, and there are some differences, but I think if you're a good carpenter ... Interviewer: Yes, yes, but we're using Walnut, is that OK? Carpenter: Walnut is fine! Whatever you want. I'm a carpenter. Interviewer: What about black walnut? Carpenter: What about it? Interviewer: Well we've had some walnut carpenters in here, but come to find out they weren't black walnut carpenters. Do you have black walnut experience? Carpenter: Sure, a little. It'd be good to have more for my resume, I suppose. Interviewer: OK. Hang on let me check off the box... Carpenter: Go right ahead. Interviewer: OK, one more thing for today. We're using Rock 5.1 to bang nails with. Have you used Rock 5.1? Carpenter: [Turning white...] Well, I know a lot of carpenters are starting to use rocks to bang nails with since Craftsman bought a quarry, but you know, to be honest I've had more luck with my nailgun. Or a hammer, for that matter. I find I hit my fingers too much with the rock, and my other hand hurts because the rock is so big. Interviewer: But other companies are using rocks. Are you saying rocks don't work? Carpenter: No, I'm not saying rocks don't work, exactly, it's just that I think nail guns work better. Interviewer: Well, our architects have all started using rocks, and they like it. Carpenter: Well, sure they do, but I bang nails all day, and -- well, look, I need the work, so I'm definitely willing to use rocks if you want. I try to keep an open mind. Interviewer: OK, well we have a few other candidates we're looking at, so we'll let you know. Carpenter: Well, thanks for your time. I enjoyed meeting you.
NEXT DAY: Interviewer: Hello? Carpenter: Hello. Remember me, I'm the carpenter you interviewed for the black walnut job. Just wanted to touch base to see if you've made a decision. Interviewer: Actually, we have. We liked your experience overall, but we decided to go with someone who has done a lot of work with brown. Carpenter: Really, is that it? So I lost the job because I didn't have enough brown? Interviewer: Well, it was partly that, but partly we got the other fellow a lot cheaper. Carpenter: Really -- how much experience does he have? Interviewer: Well, he's not really a carpenter, he's a car salesman -- but he's sold a lot of brown cars and he's worked with walnut interiors.
Title: Re: programming memes
Post by: rachel on January 10, 2024, 07:44:26 pm