Fri Nov 09 08:18:34 2007 UTC
Wetfish:
I came to the internet sometime around the age of 11 seeking solace from social troubles in the real world. The guise of anonymity and the power to "be who you want to be" made this a heavily attractive alternative to being antisocial. Throughout my life, I have always sought to converse and interact with people older, more mature than myself. I don't quite know the reasons behind this, only to say that for some time the internet fulfilled this desire. The idea of talking at any time with someone older and wiser while hiding behind some alias proved to work far better than the real life alternative which usually resulted in awkward stares, insults, and general hostility toward myself.
As the disparity between my real self, usually expressed online, and the person I was in real life, I began to turn to the internet more and more, slowly isolating myself from others offline. For a while, everything was good. Slowly but surely, however, I realized that there was no avoiding the nonacceptance and hostility people react with toward me, even online. As this intensified, it soon became apparent that no matter where I was, I would always remain the annoying ignorant immature kid that everyone hates. The social haven of the internet has vanished. The internet and social issues in my life have worked in a cycle to disintegrate eachother, leaving me without the acceptance I once found on the internet, and even moreso in real life.
I write this now as a formal way of saying goodbye, although I feel I was essentially kicked out much earlier. To the community of wetfish I owe nothing except a bitter feeling of regret. I have managed to destroy any shred of quality in my life that once existed. I must stress, however, that my feelings are not meant to appear in a blaming matter; I fully understand and accept the fact that I was the one who did this to myself. Nobody on wetfish has done anything wrong, but simply proved to me that I am what I feared the most and that the ones who have ridiculed and insulted me, both online and off, were all too correct.
I know that everyone reading this letter doesn't care one bit, so feel free to go back to your discussion about 4chan or dick jokes or whatever anytime now. To the nonexistant person still reading this, fuck wetfish and fuck everone there, you stupid fucking narcissistic unfunny assholes. Have fun laughing at me.
Goodbye wetfish,
Former-resident ignorant annoying immature asshole dickfuck, Chase (dzer0)
P.S.: Rachel, I hate to have to end this without talking to you about it, but I just have to move on. I must sincerely thank you for all that you have done for me. Without you, I would be much more of a mess than I am now. But I have to add that lately, it seems like you too have echoed the feelings of those around me, and I feel that you too in some way feel utter contempt for anything I have to say or do. This has only convinced me that what everyone says is true. I hope you have a nice life.