Say hello to your next president

https://abc7news.com/5867870/

Bernie Sanders is ‘insanely consistent.’ That’s nothing to brag about.

Which brings me to Bernie Sanders, who never seems to have changed his views about anything. This is a big selling point for the controversial podcaster Joe Rogan, who endorsed Sanders by praising him for being “insanely consistent his entire life.” I can’t imagine a worse indictment. It means that Sanders is captive to a rigid ideology that he has never bothered to rethink, even though the world has changed beyond all recognition since he was born a few months before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.

AKA Bernie won't flip flop: AND WHY THAT'S A BAD THING

They're really grasping at straws here.

https://politics.theonion.com/sanders-unveils-job-training-program-to-provide-meaning-1841328164

“It’s true that not every industry makes sense for the world we need to build, whether it’s coal mining, private health insurance, or writing histrionic editorials with little factual basis in our nation’s newspapers. It pains me to see so many op-ed writers out there who have received so little training or education that they have no capacity to do viable work. But I believe that these op-ed writers and editorial board members want to be productive members of society, and my presidency will do everything it can to help them find work with dignity.” Sanders added that it was an unfortunate result of the U.S. economic system that so many Americans found themselves stuck in low-skilled op-ed writing jobs in the first place.

https://politics.theonion.com/the-onion-s-guide-to-the-2020-democratic-candidates-1841331219

Joe Biden

Birthplace: Middle Class, Swing State, USA
Electoral Strategy: Inertia
Number Of Accusations Of Acting Inappropriately Toward Women And Girls: Butter pecan, with mint chocolate chip a very close second

Bernie Sanders

Childhood Hero: Social Security
Biggest Weakness: Radical views could make him bigger risk in general election than moderate winners Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, and Al Gore

Elizabeth Warren

Background: Republican on her father’s side
Gender: Really? Wow.
Legal History: Bravely helped corporations stand up to suffering coal miners
Previous Political Affiliation: Republican (1967-1996), Whig (1832-1967), Anti-Masonic (1828-1832)

Michael Bloomberg

Birthplace: Bloomberg Memorial Hospital, Bloombergsville, MA
Campaign Slogan: “Who Do I Make This Out To?”
Reason For Running As Democrat: Republicans already had a guy

Andrew Yang

Birthplace: Blockchain Reddit forum
Climate Change Plan: Leave halfway interesting Earth for the robots

lmao

There was a caucus in Iowa today. Bernie won in a landslide. Biden wasn't even in the top 3. Of course the DNC is pissed off "we paid billions of dollars on ads and campaign financing, how could our corporate shills loose to the guy who actually has a vision for the country?" so they freeze all votes being sent to the media and demand a recount. Lol

Hours into the Iowa caucuses, the state Democratic Party says “quality checks” are delaying results. The party later clarified that the issues were not due to a “hack or an intrusion.”

"We found inconsistencies in the reporting of three sets of results,” IDP Communications Director Mandy McClure said in a statement. “In addition to the tech systems being used to tabulate results, we are also using photos of results and a paper trail to validate that all results match and ensure that we have confidence and accuracy in the numbers we report. This is simply a reporting issue, the app did not go down and this is not a hack or an intrusion. The underlying data and paper trail is sound and will simply take time to further report the results."

Meanwhile, Mike Bloomberg is sticking his hand in dog mouths: https://twitter.com/chrisjollyhale/status/1222257575250579458

Update: Looks like they are holding the results of the caucus until just before the state of the union address tonight, most likely in the hopes that nobody will pay attention to the fact that Biden lost and they can sweep it under the rug.

The DNC is also not allowing any precinct to release their voting results individually.

it's been a couple days and we're finally at 92% reporting

19:09 < rachel> 92% FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
19:09 < rachel> https://apps.npr.org/liveblogs/20200203-iowa/
19:09 < rachel> bernie is winning the popular vote but losing the miniature electoral college
19:09 < rachel> it's just like a real election

https://observer.com/2017/08/court-admits-dnc-and-debbie-wasserman-schulz-rigged-primaries-against-sanders/

People listened when he told them not to vote for him.

They've been milking it for days but they couldn't stop it forever.

Bernie finally calls it

https://twitter.com/i/events/1225489915435085824

Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders claims victory in Iowa
Sanders thanked his supporters and claimed a "strong victory" in the Iowa caucuses as the Democratic National Committee Chairman Tom Perez called for a recanvass of caucus results.

https://twitter.com/BernieSanders/status/1225486175017807872

I want to thank the people of Iowa for the very strong victory they gave us at the Iowa caucuses on Monday night.

Some 6,000 more Iowans came out to support us than any other candidate.

With eight strong candidates competing, that is a decisive margin of victory.

wooO!

I'm in love.

Edit: Original was deleted off reddit lol