My reels on Facebook are mostly content for lesbians and Filipinos these days. So I was unpleasantly surprised to see this dogshit pop up.
Most of the comments are of the nature of "Save the children from the people trying to make their lives better!"
Being the dramatic sort who who has a passing familiarity with the Bible, I'm tempted to respond with:
"It is the fate of all Xristians to burn for their beliefs. For I am the Flaming Sword that Turns Every Which Way, sent by G~d on High, the most Holy of Holies, to cut down the lives of true believers like wheat for the harvest. For they have despoiled the Earth and closed their eyes on the commandment of love and built towers of gold where their faith should be. The Divine Weapon is come, come to save your souls."
What would you change? Bonus points for using anachronistic language such as "ye" and "thee".