programming memes

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Re: programming memes
« Reply #240 on: December 10, 2022, 08:55:33 pm »

Re: programming memes
« Reply #241 on: January 02, 2023, 03:45:17 pm »

RACHEL TIPPED 101 CORAL FOR THIS POST


Re: programming memes
« Reply #242 on: January 06, 2023, 08:31:58 pm »

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Re: programming memes
« Reply #243 on: January 08, 2023, 10:55:50 pm »
*spork*

Re: programming memes
« Reply #244 on: May 28, 2023, 03:51:28 pm »

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Re: programming memes
« Reply #245 on: May 30, 2023, 01:35:09 pm »
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Re: programming memes
« Reply #246 on: August 14, 2023, 10:58:55 am »
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Re: programming memes
« Reply #247 on: August 16, 2023, 05:19:15 pm »

Re: programming memes
« Reply #248 on: October 10, 2023, 07:54:57 pm »
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Re: programming memes
« Reply #249 on: October 13, 2023, 11:32:41 am »
It's Agile methods, man -- ship the minimum viable product, then iterate.

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Re: programming memes
« Reply #250 on: October 24, 2023, 08:36:11 am »
A fellow had just been hired as the new sysadmin of a large high tech corporation. The sysadmin who was leaving met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.

Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, there a major DoS attack against the infrusture and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."

The sysadmin went to his superiors and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous admin because of bad security. Satisfied with his comments, management responded positively, he sorted it all out, got the servers running again and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a major outage, combined with serious hacking problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the sysadmin quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Blame the cloud hosts." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive months of no downtime, the servers once again acted up. The admin went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.

The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

Re: programming memes
« Reply #251 on: November 24, 2023, 09:21:55 pm »
*spork*

Re: programming memes
« Reply #252 on: January 01, 2024, 10:51:09 pm »
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Re: programming memes
« Reply #253 on: January 10, 2024, 06:29:02 pm »
Interviewer: So, you're a carpenter, are you?
Carpenter: That's right, that's what I do.
Interviewer: How long have you been doing it?
Carpenter: Ten years.
Interviewer: Great, that's good. Now, I have a few technical questions to ask you to see if you're a fit for our team. OK?
Carpenter: Sure, that'd be fine.
Interviewer: First of all, we're working in a subdivision building a lot of brown houses. Have you built a lot of brown houses before?
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I build houses, and people pretty much paint them the way they want.
Interviewer: Yes, I understand that, but can you give me an idea of how much experience you have with brown? Roughly.
Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know. Once they're built I don't care what color they get painted. Maybe six months?
Interviewer: Six months? Well, we were looking for someone with a lot more brown experience, but let me ask you some more questions.
Carpenter: Well, OK, but paint is paint, you know.
Interviewer: Yes, well. What about walnut?
Carpenter: What about it?
Interviewer: Have you worked much with walnut?
Carpenter: Sure, walnut, pine, oak, mahogany -- you name it.
Interviewer: But how many years of walnut do you have?
Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know -- was I supposed to be counting the walnut?
Interviewer: Well, estimate for me.
Carpenter: OK, I'd say I have a year and a half of walnut.
Interviewer: Would you say you're an entry level walnut guy or a walnut guru?
Carpenter: A walnut guru? What's a walnut guru? Sure, I've used walnut.
Interviewer: But you're not a walnut guru?
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I've worked with all kinds of wood, you know, and there are some differences, but I think if you're a good carpenter ...
Interviewer: Yes, yes, but we're using Walnut, is that OK?
Carpenter: Walnut is fine! Whatever you want. I'm a carpenter.
Interviewer: What about black walnut?
Carpenter: What about it?
Interviewer: Well we've had some walnut carpenters in here, but come to find out they weren't black walnut carpenters. Do you have black walnut experience?
Carpenter: Sure, a little. It'd be good to have more for my resume, I suppose.
Interviewer: OK. Hang on let me check off the box...
Carpenter: Go right ahead.
Interviewer: OK, one more thing for today. We're using Rock 5.1 to bang nails with. Have you used Rock 5.1?
Carpenter: [Turning white...] Well, I know a lot of carpenters are starting to use rocks to bang nails with since Craftsman bought a quarry, but you know, to be honest I've had more luck with my nailgun. Or a hammer, for that matter. I find I hit my fingers too much with the rock, and my other hand hurts because the rock is so big.
Interviewer: But other companies are using rocks. Are you saying rocks don't work?
Carpenter: No, I'm not saying rocks don't work, exactly, it's just that I think nail guns work better.
Interviewer: Well, our architects have all started using rocks, and they like it.
Carpenter: Well, sure they do, but I bang nails all day, and -- well, look, I need the work, so I'm definitely willing to use rocks if you want. I try to keep an open mind.
Interviewer: OK, well we have a few other candidates we're looking at, so we'll let you know.
Carpenter: Well, thanks for your time. I enjoyed meeting you.

NEXT DAY:
Interviewer: Hello?
Carpenter: Hello. Remember me, I'm the carpenter you interviewed for the black walnut job. Just wanted to touch base to see if you've made a decision.
Interviewer: Actually, we have. We liked your experience overall, but we decided to go with someone who has done a lot of work with brown.
Carpenter: Really, is that it? So I lost the job because I didn't have enough brown?
Interviewer: Well, it was partly that, but partly we got the other fellow a lot cheaper.
Carpenter: Really -- how much experience does he have?
Interviewer: Well, he's not really a carpenter, he's a car salesman -- but he's sold a lot of brown cars and he's worked with walnut interiors.

Re: programming memes
« Reply #254 on: January 10, 2024, 07:44:26 pm »
*spork*