Bdsm is how I learned what I was doing was unsafe and dangerous. Like logically I knew what consent was, but I didn't realize talking about things first, having after care, and doing that preparation and after work were important for the safety and well being as the sub (me in those situations). I wanted complete uncertainty and fear, which came most easy by not doing those things and fucking the first random guy who wouldn't question those demands. Kinda weird how, now, 5 years later, I'm all fucked up about it and crave it like it's a drug. Gonna be honest, wetfish has been a safe outlet to talk about it, bc the topic is so taboo. NC is so hot, it feel addicted and crazy without it
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Ugh maybe I'll figure out how to make cnc actually interesting and work.maybe I'll be able to find an autistic badie who can help ... one day. Lmfao.
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