When I was around 16, he was 17, my parent's busted in on me in a [semi-serious] relationship with another guy. (At the time, I knew I wasn't prepared to dare break a girl's heart, like I did before. The frank fact, I think back then, was that I was emotionally immature yet wanted to get in on all that fun stuff I heard about on the local dial-up BBS)
After that I just kinda allowed the label "Gay" to be applied.
Before that, when I was 14 I had my first real physical homosexual experience. It was really, ppft. Met him online. He was a year or two older than me. He tried too hard to use his fully erect tongue to explore my face. I payed for the cab ride over to my place and when my parents got home they drove him home later. That was a difficult expression of cool-hey-everything-is-ok hour and days after to hold. With the parents that is. In the end I didn't regret the experience. Checking into it, it turns out he is still a friend on my FB and I don't mind.
My first girlfriend was beautiful. She was a kind farmer. Someone that knew how to live. For a year back from the previous paragraph, I very fondly remember being chased around by a grouse. I remember really fond and terrifying feelings about holding hands, thinking about kissing, and other stuff. I was a pretty smart, but socaially awkward kid. I tended to be oblivious about obvious things (I wore sweatpants exlusivly well into 6th grade, until people started making fun of me, at least)
A female friend that I've had since before I can remember but kinda lost contact with when we were in high school came up to me one day in the last days of grade 11 and came out unexpectedly as a lesbian and how cool it was that I dated her long time friend (16yo, top, 4p above).
Maybe it it is worth a mention that that friend is also the very first girl, and any human, that I have ever kissed. It was awkward. I was 8. She introduced me to beer 7 years later but back then, I would chase what-a-big-deal 1994 made out of kissing.
Just a few formative experiences.
Throughout and after the last year of high school, I had the best relationship ever.
And then it ended naturally and we parted ways. (occasionally, we still exchange postcards by mail.)
A few years later... The old group got together again. We're doing our thing and frequenting the gay bars each weekend. There was rockband and landslides.
I don't even not know where to begin when trying to answer {the forum topic's question}, "Why" "am" "I" "Gay"?
Because I like to cry sometimes.
That was a few years ago, and now I'm really open to life.
Title: In Defense of the Real Sexual.
P.s. I don't mind if you call me gay. I learnt to like it a long time ago. Wanna play Rocket League or [insert a love of yours here]?