Copy Pasta thread

If a fraction of self-proclaimed anarchists practiced what they preached, this planet would be in a way better situation already.

So tired of listetning to all you hypocrites fucking excuses to keep living like statetheists, paying taxes, getting licences, marrying, supporting politicians, borders, spanking and religions, and even putting your own offspring through systematic statetheist brainwashing. You are fucking disgusting.

Please do not declaw your clowns

Clowns need their retractable claws to hunt and climb. Removing them is not only costly but can seriously hurt your clown both physically and emotionally

I grew pumpkins in my back garden this summer. They covered the entire space, but only one of the flowers turned into an actual pumpkin. I've cared for that one pumpkin for two months, turning it occasionally, brushing off dirt from rainstorms, and just generally enjoying watching it grow. It's turned into a beautiful, perfect pumpkin.

Yesterday morning, as I was heading off for work, I noticed it was gone. Someone had obviously stolen it. Who does that? I can understand if there were ten pumpkins, taking one. But when there's just one? What type of monster takes someone's only pumpkin? They probably smashed it on a curb, but I'll pretend they're making a nice pie out of it right now. So long, sweet prince.

I grew pumpkins in my back garden this summer. They covered the entire space, but only one of the flowers turned into an actual pumpkin. I've cared for that one pumpkin for two months, turning it occasionally, brushing off dirt from rainstorms, and just generally enjoying watching it grow. It's turned into a beautiful, perfect pumpkin.

Yesterday morning, as I was heading off for work, I noticed it was gone. Someone had obviously stolen it. Who does that? I can understand if there were ten pumpkins, taking one. But when there's just one? What type of monster takes someone's only pumpkin? They probably smashed it on a curb, but I'll pretend they're making a nice pie out of it right now. So long, sweet prince.

rip

i have sex with my gamer girlfriend by noclipping back and forth into her while she pretends to be aroused

i hate when i go up north and go to restaurants and the waiter comes to take my order and im like ?do yall have sweet tea??? and theyre like ?no sweetheart but we have unsweetened iced tea and we can give you some sugar packets!!!? llike no you fucking yankee because now the tea is already cold so the sugar wont dissolve in it and itll all just sink the bottom and be nasty learn basic fucking solubility this is 9th grade chemistry thats why sweet tea exists in the first place you fucking heat the tea up to make it and then while its still hot you add the sugar and then you chill it and its sweet fucking tea i bet you pronounce pecan like peecan too you four seasons-having piece of shit

there?s a guy in one of my classes who i am secretly battling for dominance over by wearing awful hipster outfits. i dont know if he is thinking the same thing but regardless i am intent on winning

i thought i won today when i walked into class wearing my awful pop art t-shirt of 1995 figure skating champions, mom jeans, and 1980 moscow olympics-theme denim jacket but then he had to walk in wearing a donald duck jacket with matching donald duck socks like what a fucking power move

if someone sees you jerking off and you stop then you are the guy who got caught masturbating. if you keep going then they are the guy who watched a dude masturbate.

There was a little girl in church, about 5, and her parents obviously let her get dressed herself that day because she came waddling in with the puffiest coat on in the summer in North Carolina. She comes and sits in the pew in front of us. 15 minutes into mass she turns around and hands my husand an orange. Her parents are mortified.



?Savannah not again!? They scold! (Again kills me)



They appologize and she turns back around. A few moments later she goes to hand me an orange but her parents grab it from her before she can.



Savannah is determined. She reaches her tiny fists into her puffy coat and pulls out two more ornages. She begins to distribute them. Her parents are now beat red and in shock. There is no stopping small Savannah now.



This small child proceeds to laugh a laugh I can only call maniacal (in a Catholic church) unzip the inner line of her coat and releases what had to have been 20-30 of those little kid oranges into the pews.



WE EAT Savannah yells cackeling



The priest can no longer contain his glee

The entire church is dying with laughter



She felt like Jesus on the moutian with the baskets of fish that day I?m sure.



Children are amazing.

RACHEL TIPPED 50 CORAL FOR THIS POST

HERE CUMS THE FUCK TRUCK TIPPED 69 CORAL FOR THIS POST

?Toblerone?s stocks rose because of Jaden Smith?s anime? is a real sentence you can say

HERE CUMS THE FUCK TRUCK TIPPED 69 CORAL FOR THIS POST

a while back my best friend linked me to a thread on homemade My Little Pony transformation hypnosis tapes

that?s a really loaded sentence so let me ease into it

they were like, hour long recordings you were supposed to lay down and listen to and focus on nothing else, that started off with some relaxation techniques then eased into like, ?feel your hands becoming hooves. remember pinkie pie?s happy memories. imagine yourself literally becoming pinkie pie. imagine your pink mane. you are literally pinkie pie?

all with the goal of putting you in a mental state where you were convinced you were this cartoon pony. and it was full of people like ?wow! this was so relaxing. i felt like i literally Became rarity?

the problem is that human brains are kind of, buggy? so people, especially if they listened to the tapes too much, started like, accidentally going to this mental state they?d created at random inopportune times. the thread was suddenly full of people desperate to know how to stop it because they were turning into rainbow dash in the middle of driving on a highway to work, or whatever

anyway, i?m just burdened with that knowledge forever, now. i think about it a lot

HERE CUMS THE FUCK TRUCK TIPPED 69 CORAL FOR THIS POST

It is the cycle of history:

From bondage brings forth spiritual faith;

From spiritual faith comes great courage;

From courage comes liberty;

From liberty brings abundance;

From abundance brings complacency;

From complacency arises apathy;

From apathy leads to dependence;

From dependence society is sent back into bondage.

If your argument against gun control goes like this ?what if a bad guy has a gun I need one to defend myself? then you?re already stating that a gun is a threat to the safety of those nearby. You?re tickling your ego by thinking you with your gun will be faster and smarter than the bad guy and frankly my life is not worth testing out your bullshit attitude. You already know guns are bad, you just think you with a gun is better. If they shoot you or you shoot them that?s the same number of people killed. You still believe guns are dangerous you just wanna feel cool idk what to tell you champ just stop sniffing the glue.

"Poison" Is a social construct invented to keep me from eating every delicious mushroom I find on the ground

HERE CUMS THE FUCK TRUCK TIPPED 69 CORAL FOR THIS POST

u ever talk to those men that make u feel like u involuntarily logged into 4chan

RACHEL TIPPED 20 CORAL FOR THIS POST